A couple of things are making me worried today.
After months of being able to feel the ouline of the baby's bum and spine pretty clearly, it seems like sometime last week she decided, enough of that, and has turned. This means her back is now lying against my back and she is facing outward. This does not make me happy. The most immediate problem this creates is that she is now pressing on some nerves which is making my legs a little numb. It's not painful (that comes later) but it is strange and unnerving to not be able to feel front of my thighs when I walk.
The much bigger problem with the baby lying in a posterior position is that if I go into labour with her that way, it is reportedly a much more painful experience. Not to mention that it generally takes longer as well. Apparently there are things you can do to make her turn before labour, but it doesn't guarantee that she'll stay there!
The other thing that is worrying me today is my itchy feet. Apparently this could signal a problem with my liver that could result in a still birth. I did not know this prior to today. (The internet really can be a scary place!) It's been going on for a couple of weeks now, but I didn't think to mention it to the doctor. The numbness seemed so much more serious. That goes to show you that you have to mention every little thing to the doctor! I don't think it's much of a problem since I really only have the itching as a symptom, but I'm glad the doctor's appointments have ramped up to once a week now. I think I can wait until Tuesday's appointment to ask about this.
To end on happier news, my workmates threw me a surprise shower earlier this week! I was actually surprised because I don't finish until next Thursday and I didn't think they would do something that early. I got lots of great stuff including a few things off my registry. I've got to get down to Toys R Us and make sure they get taken off the list.
Oh man, so much to do and only one more month to do it all in!
Showing posts with label neurosis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neurosis. Show all posts
Monday, 30 July 2007
Thursday, 19 July 2007
Well, on Tuesday, we finally got around to picking up the crib from my cousin. Now all we have to do is assemble the sucker!
Joe has been getting really antsy about it as he wants to be sure we have everything ready. I think he got spooked when he learned that the baby is considered full term and could be expected anytime after the second week in August. I personally think she's going to come after my due date. After all, my family is not really well known for their punctuality.
It's funny thinking that my pregnancy will be over really soon though. Lately there have been a few things that have underscored how little time is left before the baby comes.
The day before yesterday, a friend from work who is on Mat leave stopped by to give me the first presents I've received for her.
Yesterday, I passed a church with a sign out front advertising a rummage sale for Sept 1. That kind of freaked me out. There shouldn't be ads for things happening in September already!
And tonight, we go on the hospital tour with our neonatal class.
It just seems that things are happening way earlier than they should. It's still the middle of July after all!
We've still got tons of time! Right?
Joe has been getting really antsy about it as he wants to be sure we have everything ready. I think he got spooked when he learned that the baby is considered full term and could be expected anytime after the second week in August. I personally think she's going to come after my due date. After all, my family is not really well known for their punctuality.
It's funny thinking that my pregnancy will be over really soon though. Lately there have been a few things that have underscored how little time is left before the baby comes.
The day before yesterday, a friend from work who is on Mat leave stopped by to give me the first presents I've received for her.
Yesterday, I passed a church with a sign out front advertising a rummage sale for Sept 1. That kind of freaked me out. There shouldn't be ads for things happening in September already!
And tonight, we go on the hospital tour with our neonatal class.
It just seems that things are happening way earlier than they should. It's still the middle of July after all!
We've still got tons of time! Right?
Thursday, 5 July 2007
The sharp pain seems to have receded so I am just putting it down to a pulled muscle of some sort. She's still moving and I can hear the heartbeat occasionally with our fetal monitor so I wasn't as panicked as I could have been.
Tonight starts a panic of a different kind though. We start our prenatal classes at Women's College tonight. 3 hours every Thursday night for all of July. Joe has already said to me that he really doesn't want to watch any movies that they might want to show him. And God knows I've been in a bit of denial about the whole birth thing myself. I'm not sure I'm ready to confront exactly what to expect during the process. Why oh why have we gotten away from the days when, at the first sign of a contraction, they knocked you out and when you came to, they handed you a baby? Why did I decide to actually bear a child rather than adopt? I can barely stand the leg cramps I've been getting at night.
Tonight starts a panic of a different kind though. We start our prenatal classes at Women's College tonight. 3 hours every Thursday night for all of July. Joe has already said to me that he really doesn't want to watch any movies that they might want to show him. And God knows I've been in a bit of denial about the whole birth thing myself. I'm not sure I'm ready to confront exactly what to expect during the process. Why oh why have we gotten away from the days when, at the first sign of a contraction, they knocked you out and when you came to, they handed you a baby? Why did I decide to actually bear a child rather than adopt? I can barely stand the leg cramps I've been getting at night.
Monday, 14 May 2007
I've had a cold for the last week and it's starting to drive me crazy. I seem to be always stuffed up and I can't take anything for it!
Because of it, I've been having more than usual problems staying asleep, which, coupled with the hormones, is making me incredibly cranky and emotional. In fact, yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown when waiting for the streetcar to get me home from Lettuce Knit. (It was taking a very long time - in the half hour or so while I waited only one came by and it didn't stop for us because it was packed - On a Sunday!)
Just the night before I had been talking to a (male) friend who loves to tell me that pregnant women were legally insane because we have emotional outbursts that have no relation to any external stimuli. I explained to him that my outbursts were alway a reaction to external stimuli. The problem is that sometimes I OVER react to the stimuli. That was certainly the case yesterday. It was a day of 1000 papercuts and everything just culminated in me crying at the streetcar stop.
Because of it, I've been having more than usual problems staying asleep, which, coupled with the hormones, is making me incredibly cranky and emotional. In fact, yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown when waiting for the streetcar to get me home from Lettuce Knit. (It was taking a very long time - in the half hour or so while I waited only one came by and it didn't stop for us because it was packed - On a Sunday!)
Just the night before I had been talking to a (male) friend who loves to tell me that pregnant women were legally insane because we have emotional outbursts that have no relation to any external stimuli. I explained to him that my outbursts were alway a reaction to external stimuli. The problem is that sometimes I OVER react to the stimuli. That was certainly the case yesterday. It was a day of 1000 papercuts and everything just culminated in me crying at the streetcar stop.
Monday, 7 May 2007
According to my weekly e-mails from babycenter.ca, it seems the little one is now 'viable'. Once I could feel her moving around consistently, this was the next milestone I was looking forward to.
It is such a relief to get to this point. Again, no major problems are cropping up, but it's nice to have the added security that if something were to go wrong now, she would still have a chance outside the womb.
It's so strange to think that we are so emotionally invested in something that literally didn't exist 5 months ago.
In other news, had my meeting with HR today. Baby worries are slowly being superceded by money worries.
It is such a relief to get to this point. Again, no major problems are cropping up, but it's nice to have the added security that if something were to go wrong now, she would still have a chance outside the womb.
It's so strange to think that we are so emotionally invested in something that literally didn't exist 5 months ago.
In other news, had my meeting with HR today. Baby worries are slowly being superceded by money worries.
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
Yesterday, I finally made an appointment to speak to my HR person about maternity leave. I also spoke to my immediate supervisor about what their plans are for August.
Up until now, everything about the baby has been sort of abstract. Even with all the baby stuff I've been collecting piling up in our bedroom, the actual arrival of the child has been pretty vague and nebulous. It's something that we are looking forward to, and anticipating and all of that, but it's... over there.
Now though, it's starting to acquire a solidity that is a bit frightening. It's one thing to say 'oh, I'll probably start my mat leave sometime near the beginning of August' . But to talk to my supervisor and come away with actual dates is something totally different. Plans are actually being set into motion by this. My life really will change. It's exciting and a bit incomprehensible at the same time.
Oh, and it looks like I may be able to get most of August off, depending on how much vacation time I have.
Up until now, everything about the baby has been sort of abstract. Even with all the baby stuff I've been collecting piling up in our bedroom, the actual arrival of the child has been pretty vague and nebulous. It's something that we are looking forward to, and anticipating and all of that, but it's... over there.
Now though, it's starting to acquire a solidity that is a bit frightening. It's one thing to say 'oh, I'll probably start my mat leave sometime near the beginning of August' . But to talk to my supervisor and come away with actual dates is something totally different. Plans are actually being set into motion by this. My life really will change. It's exciting and a bit incomprehensible at the same time.
Oh, and it looks like I may be able to get most of August off, depending on how much vacation time I have.
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
All I do is dream
The wacky dreams have started, but funny enough, they aren't about the baby! For the last couple of nights I've had rather alarming dreams where Joe has mysteriously (or not) vanished.
The dreams are never about our relationship breaking down or anything like that. In fact, it's always pretty clear that we are just as close as ever. The circumstances are more that he becomes distracted and forgets about me, leaving me to fend for myself, or in one of the dreams, I leave the house where he's busy making dinner for me and when I try to get back to the house both the house and Joe are gone.
I suspect that it's my subconcious playing out my fears that once the baby arrives, Joe's attention will be focused on the baby and I will be pushed to the background. We've talked about this and he's assured me that this will not happen, but my abandonment issues run very deep.
I do find it strange that the baby never makes an appearance in my dreams. Joe has been dreaming of it though. From what he tells me, they are rather strange dreams where I give birth to a freakishly intelligent baby that can speak right away.
The dreams are never about our relationship breaking down or anything like that. In fact, it's always pretty clear that we are just as close as ever. The circumstances are more that he becomes distracted and forgets about me, leaving me to fend for myself, or in one of the dreams, I leave the house where he's busy making dinner for me and when I try to get back to the house both the house and Joe are gone.
I suspect that it's my subconcious playing out my fears that once the baby arrives, Joe's attention will be focused on the baby and I will be pushed to the background. We've talked about this and he's assured me that this will not happen, but my abandonment issues run very deep.
I do find it strange that the baby never makes an appearance in my dreams. Joe has been dreaming of it though. From what he tells me, they are rather strange dreams where I give birth to a freakishly intelligent baby that can speak right away.
Monday, 12 March 2007
So Joe noticed last night that right before every doctor's appointment I get very tense. I don't know how normal this is, but the fact is, I'm terrified that the doctor will have bad news for us.
There's no real reason for me to think this. Everything seems to be going fine with me, no spotting, no pain, no weird symptoms. Just a huge amount of free floating paranoia.
I'm telling myself that it will go away once I can feel the baby moving, but until then, I'm thinking of renting a fetal monitor for a couple of months. The one my friend Stef gave me is not very sensitive. Apparently you don't really hear the heartbeat with it until much later in the pregnancy and as my sister says, by that time you're getting kicked in the ribs all the time, so you don't need the reassurance as much.
The one thing I'm hanging on to right now is the fact that once my sisters got past the third month, there were no real problems with their pregnancies. I know that every pregnancy is different, but it does make me feel better that, genetically at least, there is a good track record.
There's no real reason for me to think this. Everything seems to be going fine with me, no spotting, no pain, no weird symptoms. Just a huge amount of free floating paranoia.
I'm telling myself that it will go away once I can feel the baby moving, but until then, I'm thinking of renting a fetal monitor for a couple of months. The one my friend Stef gave me is not very sensitive. Apparently you don't really hear the heartbeat with it until much later in the pregnancy and as my sister says, by that time you're getting kicked in the ribs all the time, so you don't need the reassurance as much.
The one thing I'm hanging on to right now is the fact that once my sisters got past the third month, there were no real problems with their pregnancies. I know that every pregnancy is different, but it does make me feel better that, genetically at least, there is a good track record.
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