Due to a combination of my being late for the Doctor's appointment on Monday and the baby not being in a optimal position for a 3d picture, we did not manage to get a 3d ultrasound done on Monday. We are going to get another appointment for the ultrasound. We are determined to do this!!
We did get the sizing done though. It seems that even though I am still losing a bit of weight (back down to 159lbs where I started!) she is growing well. The technician said she was of average size and weighed about 3lb 4oz. They also told us how she is positioned - head down with her spine against my left side. I'm not sure if she is still positioned like that. She does like to move around a lot.
It did give me a sense of just how big she is in there. I don't know. I've always thought of her as sort of two dimensional, but for some reason, now I can picture the depth of her. It is a bit disconcerting to realize just how large she is now and how large she will become in the next couple of months.

It has come to my attention in the last couple of weeks that I now occasionally waddle.
I figured it had to happen sooner or later, but I didn't expect it to start so soon!
It seems to be happening when I feel her very low in my pelvis. I guess with her lying in certain positions, it's difficult for my body to work the way it usually does. If I can feel her kicks higher in my abdomen, I have no problems walking (fairly) normally.
One of my sisters actually told me that I shouldn't waddle just because that's how I think pregnant women walk. I had to laugh. Who in their right mind would choose to waddle? It is the most undignified walk this side of the Ministry of Silly Walks that I can think of.

There is one really cool thing that has been happening lately. When Joe talks to her by putting his cheek on my stomach, he says he can totally feel her trying to touch his jaw bone. She's not kicking it, just sort of pawing the area where the vibrations are coming from.
She's reacting to our voices very consistently now. And when I play music for her, she really starts to move. Joe says he's starting to see my stomach bulging out when she moves now too. She's getting big and pretty strong!

On Sunday afternoon, my sister Shirley and I took a little trip down to Toys 'r' Us to finally register for some baby stuff. One of my friends has been bugging me for months about registering, but I always feel very uncomfortable doing things like this. It always feels like such an impolite thing to do.
I did feel it was somewhat necessary in this case though. Since we have already gotten so much stuff from people, this would mean we won't get a lot of repeats of things. And I tried to keep it down to the absolute basics. Although, I admit near the end, I just started scanning whatever my sister pointed out to me. Those barcode scanners are just too much fun.
I did forget to add the Wii that Joe suggested, but I think I can add that online.
We also got some free samples for registering which was nice. Not a ton of stuff, but it's always nice to get free stuff!

The sugar test came back and I technically don't have gestational diabetes. The doctor is still a bit concerned that one of the three blood samples came back elevated though. So I have to see a dietitian again. It's a bit frustrating because I know what the dietitian will say - eat more vegetables and high fibre starches and cut down on white bread and high in sugar foods. I know this. I just maybe don't follow it very strictly all the time.
I really do think my initial high sugar reading was a result of all the leftovers from my birthday party. I was eating sugary desserts every day for three weeks before that first test. Thank god it's mostly all gone now.
I was also surprised yesterday that my weight went down again. Two weeks ago, I came in at 164lbs (up from 158lbs the month before) and now I'm back down to 161lbs. was that also due to my cutting down on the sugary foods?
And to end on an exciting note, in two weeks we will be getting another ultrasound. I've booked it as a 3-D one so hopefully we'll actually be able to see what she looks like!

Just finished gorging myself on Japanese food after my 2 hour blood sugar test. Man was I hungry. The fasting for 12 hours beforehand was tough!
Now we just have to wait for the results.

In other news, I went over to my sister's house the other night and she gave me more clothes. Mostly stuff for older kids that I now have to find a place to store. But she also gave me a lot of things my other sister and I made for my niece. There is a blanket that I knit as well as a couple of sweaters and some overalls, and a dress my sister made. She wants all this stuff back so my niece can have them when she gets older, but it's great that they will get used again soon.

There was one more thing my sister gave me. A very special but unremarkable looking onesie.
It is the one thing we know for sure belonged to my oldest nephew and I assume was passed on to every other grandchild of my parents. This sucker is almost 28 years old. it thrills me beyond words that I have this. This one my sister does not get back. Pretty soon the original wearers of this thing will be having kids. It has to keep moving on.

Just got a call from the doctor's office. I just hate those.

It seems my glucose test came back slightly elevated and I have to go back and do a 2 hour sugar test. This time I have to go on a special diet for two days before doing the test again. I pick up the diet information tomorrow. sigh. I guess I have to cut down on the frozen birthday cake I've been having for the last month!

Last night, Joe and I went to the Communication Night at Women's College Hospital. The panel consisted of an obstetrician, a Family Practice doctor, a delivery room nurse and an anesthesiologist. There were about 20 other couples there with us, peppering the panel with questions that mostly had to do with pain relief, funny enough.
We got some good information about the procedures within the hospital and what the hospital's stand was on various controversial subjects like epidurals, episiotomies, induction and C-sections. And we also found out a bit more about the facilities themselves.
We'll learn more (I hope) when we go in for the prenatal classes in July.
There's one more communication night before my due date, so if any more questions come up, we'll have a chance to ask them before it gets too critical.
The funniest part of the night was the end when we all left. After keeping the 20 or so pregnant women in a room for an hour and a half, the nearest bathroom only had 2 stalls! Really, what were they thinking?

I also had a doctor's appointment yesterday. That went as usual, and since I am almost done my second trimester, we now start going every 2 weeks to see him instead of once a month. Oh, and I drank the orange crush for my glucose testing. I nearly messed it up because they didn't really give me any directions when I got the bottle. I had a small swig of water between drinking the stuff and getting the bloodwork done. oops. I should have known better. The nurse was very forgiving though. Hopefully I passed the test!

Finished the first baby related knit item last week! It's a blanket made out of Seawool. It's a bit on the small side but I have been assured that it is a good size, especially for carseats and strollers.



There are other things nearly finished or still on the needles but we'll get to those later.

In other pregnancy news, still feeling pretty good. Just the tiredness (which is really kicking my ass today) and some pretty bad tendonitis in my left wrist. Oh, and I'm eating everything in sight, which is totally cracking Joe up.
I had been pretty good with keeping my eating under control until last week when I realized that no matter how much I had just eaten, I still wanted more food. I guess she's growing pretty quickly in there and I just haven't been able to keep up with the food intake.

I've had a cold for the last week and it's starting to drive me crazy. I seem to be always stuffed up and I can't take anything for it!
Because of it, I've been having more than usual problems staying asleep, which, coupled with the hormones, is making me incredibly cranky and emotional. In fact, yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown when waiting for the streetcar to get me home from Lettuce Knit. (It was taking a very long time - in the half hour or so while I waited only one came by and it didn't stop for us because it was packed - On a Sunday!)
Just the night before I had been talking to a (male) friend who loves to tell me that pregnant women were legally insane because we have emotional outbursts that have no relation to any external stimuli. I explained to him that my outbursts were alway a reaction to external stimuli. The problem is that sometimes I OVER react to the stimuli. That was certainly the case yesterday. It was a day of 1000 papercuts and everything just culminated in me crying at the streetcar stop.

According to my weekly e-mails from babycenter.ca, it seems the little one is now 'viable'. Once I could feel her moving around consistently, this was the next milestone I was looking forward to.
It is such a relief to get to this point. Again, no major problems are cropping up, but it's nice to have the added security that if something were to go wrong now, she would still have a chance outside the womb.
It's so strange to think that we are so emotionally invested in something that literally didn't exist 5 months ago.

In other news, had my meeting with HR today. Baby worries are slowly being superceded by money worries.

I totally didn't talk about the Doctor's appointment on Tuesday! Partially because since I can feel her moving constantly, there was very little angst leading up to it, and because nothing really exciting happened during it. But there were some interesting things to note:

-I will be getting another ultrasound at 32 weeks (10 weeks from now) - hopefully we can get that one as a 3-d one

- the next appointment at 26 weeks will include glucose testing which means I have to drink tons of sugar to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes

-and last but not least, I did not gain any weight since my last monthly appointment! This surprised me to no end since I am definitely starting to show. I guess even though I'm not dieting, the eating plan my dietician has me on is a lot less than what I used to eat say, a year ago. Now that I know I'm not ballooning out of control, I'm being less obsessive about how much I am eating and just eating until I am full. Portion sizes are slowly going out the window. Especially this week!

Yesterday, I finally made an appointment to speak to my HR person about maternity leave. I also spoke to my immediate supervisor about what their plans are for August.
Up until now, everything about the baby has been sort of abstract. Even with all the baby stuff I've been collecting piling up in our bedroom, the actual arrival of the child has been pretty vague and nebulous. It's something that we are looking forward to, and anticipating and all of that, but it's... over there.
Now though, it's starting to acquire a solidity that is a bit frightening. It's one thing to say 'oh, I'll probably start my mat leave sometime near the beginning of August' . But to talk to my supervisor and come away with actual dates is something totally different. Plans are actually being set into motion by this. My life really will change. It's exciting and a bit incomprehensible at the same time.

Oh, and it looks like I may be able to get most of August off, depending on how much vacation time I have.

Very exciting. On Sunday, Joe felt the baby move for the first time! I've been feeling her moving around in there for the last few weeks, but I guess up until the weekend, the movements had been too small and subtle. I was really looking forward to the day when Joe could feel it as well, because even though all the books say that the small movements are something special between the mom and the baby, I wanted Joe to share in all that as well.
This whole thing has been about the three of us from the beginning. In fact, most days, I think Joe is way more excited about this whole baby thing than I am. He's been so involved in the pregnancy (ok, maybe not so much with the shopping part of it) that it just seemed so unfair that
I could feel the movement so much earlier than he could.
But Sunday night she was in fine form! For a couple of minutes there, she was just dancing away and Joe had no problems distinguishing her movements from the random gurglings of my stomach.

Feeling the need to immerse myself in baby stuff, I took a trip out to Roncesvalles to go to Macklem's yesterday morning.
Even though we are getting a lot of things from our incredibly generous friends and relatives (we have been offered a bassinet, a baby bjorn, and multiple strollers in addition to the crib, bouncy chair and diaper genie that are already in our possession) and don't need a lot of the big ticket stuff, I wanted to go and see what was out there.
It was great walking around there and having an upclose look at all the different car seats, cribs, strollers, and all the other things that a new mother apparently can't do without. It was also nice talking to the sales people about the benefits of the various brands and styles. Much better than at Babies R Us where, if you can find a salesperson, they barely know the stock. The store was pretty expensive, and I don't know if I would buy anything from there, but I won't hesitate to use their knowledge.
I checked out the stroller that my friend Mel just bought and suffered some serious envy. I had to agree with my friend Stef though when she pointed out that while that particular stroller was really good for 2 kids, since we only plan on having one, it might not be the best choice for us.
But now, I am obsessed with strollers. Even though we have been offered three strollers from various people, and we will most likely not be getting a new one, every time I see a stroller on the street I stare at it fixedly, trying to see how well it maneuvers and how comfortable the kid seems.
I would probably be doing this with car seats as well, but it's a bit more difficult to check those out without looking like a total psycho.

This will come back to bite me in the ass

Well, I'm just about at the halfway mark of the pregnancy and I have to say, so far, I am getting off really lightly. The worst I've had is some back pain and trouble sleeping which kinda leads to some exhaustion. Everyone keeps asking me how I am and I feel like I'm disappointing them when I say that I feel great. And I do! I wouldn't say I've never felt better (which, from all the stories that I hear, is apparently how all the pregnant women that aren't in pain/constantly nauseous/having massive gastro-intestinal problems/completely wiped out physically feel), I just feel absolutely normal. A little sleepy and constantly distracted, but nothing too far out of the ordinary.
I know that writing this is just asking for trouble and let's face it, the real hard stuff is still to come. I can still tie my shoes, get up from our couch by myself (and if you've ever sat on my couch, you know that that's a challenge at the best of times), eat full meals and take deep breaths, but I know that will change soon. Not to mention, I will be at my hugest at the height of summer. (Bad forward planning on my part. Why couldn't I be like my sister and planned a February baby?)
I guess I just wanted a reminder for when it gets bad that it wasn't always that way. In fact, right now, sitting here writing this and feeling her moving and kicking, it's fucking fantastic.

No question about it. The ultrasound technician was very confident as she said: "It's a baby girl".
Joe is over the moon. We are also over the moon about the fact that everything is developing normally and there are no scary shadows on anything. We saw the heart beating, the spine and the tiny hands and feet. And boy was she active. The doctor asked me if I had anything sweet to eat prior to the ultrasound, she was moving so much. I think it's more that I had just gotten off the streetcar and I'm really noticing that she gets agitated when I'm in a moving vehicle.

It's really crazy feeling her move so much. Sometimes I think it's just my stomach muscles contracting involuntarily, but then I realize that, no, it was probably her kicking me.

Oh, and yes, we have a name, and no, we're not telling you.

Ultrasound today! I'm less worried this time because I can feel the little bugger moving around quite a bit.
It is a bit nervewracking still, because this is the ultrasound where they check out all the organs and make sure everything is developing correctly. I've been hearing stories from people about shadows on ultrasounds that turn out to be nothing and others that turn out to mean lots of surgery for the little one after birth. I'm trying to not obsess about it too much though. Instead I've been concentrating on the fact that hopefully we will be able to find out the sex of the baby today. I've been telling it for days to not be shy and show all. Hopefully I have an obedient child. If not, this will be the first of I'm sure many times that it won't listen to me.

All I do is dream

The wacky dreams have started, but funny enough, they aren't about the baby! For the last couple of nights I've had rather alarming dreams where Joe has mysteriously (or not) vanished.
The dreams are never about our relationship breaking down or anything like that. In fact, it's always pretty clear that we are just as close as ever. The circumstances are more that he becomes distracted and forgets about me, leaving me to fend for myself, or in one of the dreams, I leave the house where he's busy making dinner for me and when I try to get back to the house both the house and Joe are gone.
I suspect that it's my subconcious playing out my fears that once the baby arrives, Joe's attention will be focused on the baby and I will be pushed to the background. We've talked about this and he's assured me that this will not happen, but my abandonment issues run very deep.
I do find it strange that the baby never makes an appearance in my dreams. Joe has been dreaming of it though. From what he tells me, they are rather strange dreams where I give birth to a freakishly intelligent baby that can speak right away.

I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is what I think I'm feeling, but for the last couple of weeks there's been some sort of, well, whooshing feeling where my lower intestines usually are. I'm beginning to suspect that it's the kid moving around in there. And the other night, while Joe and I were talking to the baby, I'm pretty sure I felt a distinct jab. I've tried to recreate the circumstances to feel the jab again, but so far nothing. I"m starting to feel excited about it.

For Jen, the geekiest thing ever.