Ok, so far we've told almost no one about my delicate condition. In fact, out of my huge family, I've only told one sister. I haven't even told my parents yet. I wanted to wait until after my first ultrasound which happens this Friday. But now I'm having second thoughts.
Today is Chinese New Year and I'm seeing my entire family for dinner tonight (well, almost). This would be a perfect time to tell everyone at once. Not to mention the fact that it will really add to the family celebration.
The only problem is, what if something goes wrong? I'm not out of my first trimester, and I haven't even had an appointment with my obstetrician yet (that happens on Monday). I'm a pretty private person (despite the evidence of this blog) and I'm not sure I would want everyone to know if there was bad news - even members of my family. I'm not sure I can handle that many people feeling sorry for me.
After talking to my sister, I'm leaning towards telling them today, but it still terrifies me somewhat. Maybe its part of the whole 'this makes it more real' feeling. I remember the first time I told someone besides my doctor. It was a total stranger in the health food store where I was buying my prenatal vitamins. It was only a couple of days after I tested positive so it was a real novelty to say out loud 'I'm pregnant' and it felt great acknowledging it to someone. It certainly helped me to believe it in those first few days. But that was someone I was never going to see again. This is my family. My entire family. There's no going back from this!
I'm sure I'm angsting over nothing once again. My family is incredibly loving and supportive. And I know they will be very excited when they hear the news. In fact, I'm very anxious to tell them. I just wish the timing of things was a bit better. If this was happening next weekend, it would have been perfect. I guess I can't expect perfection and I will have to make do with what I have.